And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
