quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
