Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
