I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
