I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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