ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
