The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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