i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
