The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
