You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
