So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
