dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
