Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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