Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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