i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
