It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
