sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
