Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
