are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
