I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
