Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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