You work out of a Hotel?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
