I'm eating all of the evidence.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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