Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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