Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
