whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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