Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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