You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Randomize
