dude i'm inner monologue high
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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