You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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