did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
