no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
