You just made me feel so damn special
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
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