dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
