So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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