glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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