awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
