She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
