so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
