i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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