I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
