dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
