I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
the raccoons are back...
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