So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
