Having a random hookup so left but love u
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO