She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
