so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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