i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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