My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
