I wish I only lived at night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
