you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
