I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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