in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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