Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
