Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
