oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
