You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
