so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize