pop tarts are not kleenex
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
