We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I skipped work to stalk him.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
