she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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