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This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Randomize
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