I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.