Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes