i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
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Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
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Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck