I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor