Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
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And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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