Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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