I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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