he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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