Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
