2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize